Finding Your Love Mate
Finding your romantic soulmate can be easy or hard. The choice is up to you.
During client sessions, questions about love life (or lack of) pop up 95% of the time. We are a social species. We're naturally monogamous. We naturally seek a life partner. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual need - not just a desire.
Partnering with someone to spend your life with is built into your physical DNA. We naturally want to be part of something bigger than ourselves. We want to be part of a team. A romantic life partner-spouse fulfills that. That's why I take clients' love questions very seriously.
We all want to find our soulmate or someone to spend our life with. Someone to share our victories and challenges; our sadness and happiness; pitfalls and windfalls.
Someone willing to commit to us and build a life together, during good times and bad. We want someone who commiserates or lifts us up during sad times. Someone who "gets us" or at least is willing to try to understand us & help make life easier, happier. We want to give the same to our partner. That's real love. Honoring the other person as you want them to honor you.
Common themes exist. And common answers from The Spirit Realm exist too! We seek a partner who makes us feel good, safe, loved, naturally. If someone makes you feel the opposite of that, walk away. That's a common Spirit Realm answer.
Another common Spirit Realm answer: We're not meant to spend a lifetime with every person we date. Be picky. Choose someone who makes you feel good on a date; makes you smile, laugh or feel comfortable without drama. Choose someone who puts effort into being with you; who wants to be with you. Who shows you they want you in their life. Someone who knows why relationships and marriage are important.
Many single or divorced clients don't feel "empowered" about their love life. They feel powerless, desperate, afraid to get hurt, afraid to take a chance, risk heartbreak or divorce. Afraid they'll make the wrong choice or spend their lives alone or worse: alone in a loveless marriage.
The journey to finding your romantic soulmate is easier when you know who you are: warts & all. When you accept your faults (we all have them), it's easier to accept faults of a lifetime partner potential.
After thousands of psychic sessions, the Spirit Realm, clients' Angels and Loved Ones give this common answer to "love life" questions:
"Fear of risking your heart, feeling powerless, afraid of heartbreak are 100% valid feelings. When it comes to love and spending the rest of your life with someone - risk exists. However, not taking a chance will also hurt you. Take calculated risks. Not frivolous risks.
"Find someone who makes you feel good and treats you well. Someone whom you respect and also treat well. Someone who cares, respects or loves you. Someone you care about or love. Challenges will happen. You will fall in & out of love with your mate. If you really like, care or love that person and that person also really likes, cares, loves you - it's not a foolish risk.
"Don't choose someone who doesn't treat you well. Don't spend time with someone who hurts you - intentionally or not. If the pattern between you is hurt, walk away. Walk away from people who hurt you or make you feel bad. As soon as a pattern of "hurt" surfaces, where that person or you hurt the other at least 3 times - walk away. Walk away immediately. When you walk away from bad, you walk closer to good.
"When choosing a life partner, choose good. Choose someone who is good for you and to you. Don't waste time on any person who makes you feel the opposite or hurts you physically. Abusive relationships (physical or emotional) are a no-win. Walk away fast." Finding your lifetime partner is easier when you choose a potential who makes you feel good. You feel positive around them: they make you laugh, smile, feel balanced, happy, solid. If you feel good when you're around them, they're worth your time. If they naturally make you happy or do things that please you - they're worth your time. If they make a mistake and strive to make it right, caring about how you feel - they're worth your time. If they want to make you happy versus sad, they're worth your time.
The biggest mistake in a relationship is causing pain, hurt to the other person. Either intentionally or not. If they cause physical pain (violence), walk away fast!
Everyone makes mistakes. That's a given. How you remedy your mistake and how your potential remedies his/her mistake with you - that's what counts.
If he/she physically abuses you, that's not a mistake. That's a fatal error to your relationship. Walk away. Quickly. Do not give your heart to someone who physically abuses you. No one deserves that treatment. Even if they have an excuse or feel bad, once a person (male or female) crosses the line and pushes you, bruises you, hits you - there is no going back. Walk away. 9 times out of 10, it will happen again. Do not take that risk.
Some women believe "bad boys" can be tamed. No, they can't. Some women want to love the badness out of a man. That can't happen either. If a man or woman treats you badly, drop him/her. If they lie, drop them. Especially if him/her lie on big stuff. There is no reason to be with someone who treats you badly or is dishonest. This applies to men and women.
If your potential makes a relationship mistake, tell him/her. Communicate! You can't have an intimate, loving relationship without communication. Give him/her the opportunity to make it right. If they care, they'll make it right. if they don't care about making it right and/or blame you for their mistake - drop them. If your potential continually hurts you, drop him/her. If your potential doesn't care about your feelings or your presence in his/her life - drop them. If a potential partner does not want to remedy a mistake, nor is willing to apologize or see your side - walk away.
If you make a mistake, do everything possible to make it right. Show them you love them. Show them how you deal with your faults and relationship challenges. Show them you want them in your life. Show them you want to make things better not worse. If you truly love them, do whatever necessary to remind them they are important to you. Most of all, show them exactly the way you'd be if you were married to each other. Show them the same respect you want from them.
When you or the other person makes a mistake, show them how you'd react if you were married and couldn't leave the scene of the crime! If you want to commit to them, show them how you'd behave if you were married. Show them the same love, acceptance you expect from them.
Mistakes, fights, arguments will happen. How you and your potential deal with them - that proves whether you're a good fit. If fights, arguments bring you closer - you're an excellent fit. If they don't, walk away.
Don't waste time on potentials that bring you pain, sorrow. Especially if it's a consistent pattern. That's toxic and the relationship will eventually dissolve. The quicker you detach from it, walk way, the better. You don't need to sacrifice your happiness to find a mate. Quite the opposite - they should enhance your life, not make it worse.
Most of my single and divorced clients cringe at the thought of dating. The Spirit Realm sees it differently. "Want to be married? You must practice! Dating is a practice run for marriage. You cannot find your mate if you don't date, window-shop, then practice your relationship skills on someone!" Is the Spirit Realm's answer to most single, divorced clients who are afraid to date.
Relationships come in many colors and shapes. Marriage is between two people only. Each marriage is different but they all share the same traits: mutual respect, trust, willingness to understand each other, be there for one another (cheerleader), be a team, build something bigger than yourself, be good to each other, love each other. Love can be learned. Just as "love at first sight" can easily fade.
The most important thing to remember - when seeking a long-term love - marriage and relationships can be difficult. Don't make it harder by choosing a potential who doesn't treat you well. Walk away from badness - whether you're a man or woman. Walk away from toxic potentials. The sooner you walk away from bad treatment, the sooner you'll step into a non-toxic, "feel good", true potential life partner relationship.
Commitment is not difficult when you find the right person. If you're with someone who cannot commit, and you try these tactics and they still will not commit to you, walk away. If they truly care, respect, love you as a partner potential- they will commit to you. Some couples commit to each other without a marriage certificate. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn: great example. They spent last 40+ years together, living together, before they married. That's commitment. Marriage is the ultimate commitment to a couple's relationship future. You both take same risk. However, you can be committed to each other forever, without a marriage certificate. If you wait around 5-10 years and no commitment - walk away.
My parents were married for 57 years. They were together 59 total years. They didn't always get along but that didn't sway them. Small arguments happened. Their love and commitment to their marriage trumped disagreements.
They were united, a real team. They had separate interests, hobbies, careers - and respected their differences. Love and commitment trumped everything.
Normally, a couple who experience a death of a child divorce within 4 years. My parents lost 2 children to murder and it made their marriage stronger, not weaker.
Normally, a marriage interrupted by infidelity ends in divorce. My parents (romantic soulmates) spent 1 month apart after that, and discovered they could not live without each other. So they rebuilt trust, respect, commitment to each other because their love was stronger than what happened to them.
in other words, when you find your true love-mate, break the mold. Don't settle for normal or believe statistics. Believe in each other more than you believe in anything else. Prioritize your marriage as #1 on your "life list". Walking through life as a team is your #1 priority. Being there for each other - #1 priority. For 50 years, my father made coffee every morning for my mother. She gave him daily backrubs and made him laugh. When she needed anything, he gave it to her. She did same for him. They laughed, enjoyed each others' company, did fun things together, had a robust social life and turned bad situations into good. They were good to each other and for each other. Since the day they first met in 1958. They were an amazing team. That's what we all strive for in our marriages and relationships.
Don't settle for less. Don't settle for low-lying, "first available" fruit. Be picky. Choose someone who makes you smile, not cry. Choose someone who shares your values. Someone who cares about you. Don't choose bad girls or bad boys who disrespect you or make you feel bad. That's a waste of your time. Life is short. Don't waste it. Fill it with good, positive people. Choose good. Know you have choices, no matter what. That's true fulfillment: Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically.