Love & Intimacy - April 10, 2020
It's Good Friday. Seems perfect time to talk about love. If you're a Christian, you feel soul-love today.
We are on this planet to love others and ourselves. We are a very social species. Sometimes we learn to love ourselves MORE while loving others.
Theory exists: "You cannot love someone until you love yourself." That's not true. Boy, how we can over-complicate things! Your heart is always available to love. No matter your self-love. Don't over-think it. Just be. Just feel.
When you love someone, it opens your heart to love YOU more. You see yourself through their eyes.
New mothers feel this when they first see their baby's eyes. A newborn baby exudes pure love. Through their skin and eyes. A newborn reminds us all what love is. And how deep true love can feel. Mothers and fathers feel this.
When you hold a newborn, you feel this. A love that warms your heart, quiets your mind, touches your soul and stops time. Even if the newborn is not yours. You feel it. You feel pure love. An open, innocent love. Holding a newborn in your arms opens your heart. The rest of the world disappears, your worries and stresses disappear. That's heart & soul love.
Many types of love exist. Love for your coworkers, your children, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends, best friends, spouse or romantic partner, your animals and life itself.
Each type of love resonates differently energetically. Your heart loves in different ways, depending on the relationship. Your heart is a strong energetic force. Love is an all-encompassing energetic force.
Unconditional love is the strongest love. Unconditional love is soul-love. "Forgive them, Father. For they know not what they do." Unconditional love crosses all boundaries and dimensions. You can love someone unconditionally while still practicing boundaries. The person you love that way - might feel your boundaries are flexible, non-existent or that you're codependent. Those labels are used by people who are afraid to love unconditionally with their whole heart. Or they're unable to love you unconditionally. Don't work too hard to love those people. Just love them. Without twisting into a pretzel.
Love isn't hard. Love isn't controlling. You can love someone from afar. You can still love someone you "let go" and don't speak to anymore. God knows I have plenty of those in my life! I still love them. No matter the bad memories. Love soothes hurt. Like warm water melts ice.
Boundaries are always important while loving others. Boundaries help the other person learn more about you; help you learn about him/her - both of you seeing the kaleidoscope of your differences and same-ness. Boundaries represent and honor your individuality.
At the same time, if your boundaries are too solid and strong - like a brick wall or deep mote surrounding your heart - you will miss opportunities to love. Stay mindful of that.
To fully love someone, trust must exist. Without trust, you can still love someone. It's "half-love". If betrayals happen between you, find ways to overcome them - together. If that doesn't work, walk away gently - with no ill words. Speak kindly to each other. Honor your love; speak your love. Then walk away. This empowers your heart and soul. You're respecting your heart and soul. Very important to respect your individual heart and soul.
Intimacy. Each of us needs that. It's part of the human Earth experience. We want to feel connected to people. We especially want, on a soul level, to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Intimacy supplies that. Being intimately connected to at least one person on this planet. This isn't just about physical intimacy, though that is important. This is about heart and soul intimacy. Feeling loved, cherished, fully accepted by at least one person on Earth. Feeling understood.
You cannot feel true intimacy with someone whom you do not trust. Someone who has proven to be untrustworthy. In their words and deeds. It's simply impossible. You might feel glimpses of intimacy. It's not real. I worked with Domestic Abuse victims back in early '90s. Counseled them and listened to their stories. Physical abuse erases trust. Even if the non-violent spouse stayed with the violent spouse, trust was gone. Intimacy gone. Soul depravity - absence of trust and intimacy - was hard for victims to overcome. Even after they left the violent spouse.
Bottom line: To feel true intimacy with someone, they must prove trustworthy. In words and deeds. Without trust, true intimacy cannot exist. To feel true intimacy, where you reveal all of you - you must first feel safe with that person.
During these days of Quarantine, the worst part is isolating from love and intimacy. Love and intimacy are crucial to your existence on this planet. Your soul needs love and intimacy. It's just a fact. Marriage was created out of that soul need. You can feel soul-love for your romantic partner (love and intimacy) without feeling heart-love. You can argue with him/her then make up. You can return to heart-love if you have soul-love for one another.
The greatest gift in life is loving someone and feeling loved by someone. Without love, depression happens. Depression is your soul's signal: "I'm not full. I'm not living fully. I feel disconnected from all that is." Depression is soul depravity. Not mental or emotional; spiritual.
When depression happens, anxiety surfaces. Anxiety creates fear. Fear creates chaos - inside you and outside of you.
These quarantines bother me - on a heart and soul level. Separating people; distancing from physical contact with others. We're social beings. Separation creates soul depravity. Which creates depression. Which creates anxiety. And ultimately chaos.
During this time, please do not fall into a routine of isolation. Isolation kills your spirit and closes your heart.
Find ways to physically connect with others - in smaller groups or one-on-one. It's good for your soul and heart. Visit with your neighbors. Drive to see friends or family members at their homes. Please do not isolate.
In Sedona, some of our cafes, bars and restaurants offer parking lot seating or patio seating. We meet there to keep our friendships strong. Some trailheads are closed; others are not. Some of us hike together. I live on a golf course. Since "quarantine" began a few weeks ago, golfers still golf! I love seeing that. Many golfers are locals who've golfed together for decades. They're not letting a "quarantine" interfere with their love for the game and their friendships. It's refreshing to see every day.
In other words, we're a social species. We need to interact and feel connected to people. Love and intimacy are still soul-needs. That hasn't changed. Forcing us to isolate; stripping us of basic soul needs: creates more damage - psychologically & spiritually. More damage than any virus will. Certainly more damage than the c-virus.
Share your love. Shine your Light. Keep your heart open.
--Your Sedona Spirit Psychic, Robin Amanda